There really is no “having it all.” Wait, I take that back. Maybe there is, but the “all” that you have has to include a little discontentment. Everything in life requires choices, which means making tradeoffs. Even if I’m deciding between two great options like a weekend at a spa with girlfriends, or a weekend at the beach with my husband, a tradeoff is required! My twin sister has an amazing career, but she made the choice not to become a mother. I could never parent the way I want to and support a job like hers. (And certainly not without giving up much of everything else I love in my life, like spending time with friends or alone with my husband, doing philanthropy, yoga and exercise, and just the relaxed pace I’ve learned to love).
I guess it’s how you define the ALL in “having it all.” Some days, I’m ok that my “all” includes awareness of the things I’m sacrificing and not doing. That is, I have it all and having it all is not non-controversial! Other days, I am dissatisfied with this “all” I have mapped out for myself, because I feel I’m wasting parts of my talent or not being productive enough or inadequately balancing the competing demands.
Wouldn’t it be nice, in all those years of schooling we got as kids, if there was just a little more education on how to accept tradeoffs inherent in the decisions we make? I mean, even if you get accepted to 5 great colleges or receive half a dozen fantastic job offers, you still have to CHOOSE. And that still leaves most of us, who are equipped with standard human brains, somewhat pining for the ones that got away.
That’s a lot of why I began doing this work, to help us restless old humans stop raining on the parade of a good choice with all that inner dialog about everything else that could be better. It’s also why I love tapas style restaurants– you get to order so many things instead of choosing just one!
How do you approach tradeoffs and choices? Do you feel like you “have it all”? Or thing there is no such thing?
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